


It'll Be Okay (Or Not)

by StarrImagine



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety Attacks, Gen, How Do I Tag, My First Fanfic, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 17:30:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15078125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarrImagine/pseuds/StarrImagine
Summary: Virgil sat in a car right outside of the building he’d be spending most of the next four years of his life in. To him, it felt more like a prison sentence than high school.Virgil experiences first hand how terrifying the first day of school can be.





	It'll Be Okay (Or Not)

“Can… can you walk in with me?”

  
Virgil sat in a car right outside of the building he’d be spending most of the next four years of his life in. To him, it felt more like a prison sentence than high school.

  
“Virgil...” His mother sighed. “You’re a in high school now. You need to learn to do things on your own, or you’ll never get over this thing you have with people.”

  
He tried not to roll his eyes when his mom referred to his anxiety as a “thing”, like not saying the word would make it affect him less, or somehow get rid of it. He knew she meant well, but he didn’t understand why he wouldn't just do this one thing for him.

  
“Please…” he asked again, trying not to sound too whinny. He didn't want to seem like a baby, thinking that would just annoy his mom instead of convince her. Though, it was difficult when you were on the verge of crying.

  
“You know I can’t.” She kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair. “Have fun. Make some friends. I love you.”

  
“...Love you too mom.” And he did. It's just that he wish he could explain why he needed someone else with him, and why he was so terrified of going alone.

  
Reluctantly, he stepped out of the car and slowly walked to the school’s entrance. Maybe if he was slow enough he’d never reach the entrance.   
He look up at the building. It was massive. Really it was only three floors, but it felt like he was entering the mouth of beast the size of a skyscraper. He’d never been in a school that big. His heart hammered against his chest. Virgil took a deep breath to try and calm down.

  
He pushed open the doors and it took all he had not to run right back out.

  
The main area was filled to the brim with people. Some were gathered around walls. Others stood on top of the seats in the middle of the area, but most people were walking around. A few looked as lost as Virgil was. He had no idea where to go.

  
“Okay, okay, okay…” He repeated over and over again under his breath. It helped to keep himself calm.

  
He pulled out a schedule he’d received a few days ago the school sent him. All he had to do was go to first period right?

  
“Okay... Mrs. Brewer... okay...room A213… okay… where is that?” He mumbled aloud.

  
It’s not that anyone would hear him over everyone else's voices. Regardless he had to find that class. He took a deep breath and began to move through the crowd.

  
_Okay, there have to be at least 200 people. 300? 1000? Okay. Too many. Where am I going? Are A rooms on the first floor?_

  
The cafeteria was a straight shot from the doors of the school. It looked almost worse than the commons. Streams of people came through the doors at the back of the cafeteria. Virgil could see through the large windows that was were the bus riders came from. He decided that would be a good place to avoid for no. He didn’t think he could handle anything in his stomach anyways. He got to the edge of the crowd and saw some teachers blocking the way the halls.

  
_Are we not allowed to go down the halls yet?_

  
He thought about asking, but he was already feeling overwhelmed. He didn’t think he could handle talking to a teacher on top of everything. But… he did need help.

  
_When can I look for my class? I have no idea where it is. It would be so much easier to look for if the halls were empty. When does class even start? I don’t know._

  
As soon as he said that, the bell rang. Virgil bit back a scream, but he couldn’t stop himself from almost jumping out of his skin. It was so loud. So sudden. Everyone started moving in different directions. He looked around wildly. He didn't know where to go or what to do.

  
_I don’t know where to look. What if I’m late? My teacher will hate me for being late on the first day. Why didn’t I go to the tour? Stupid stupid stupid._

  
He’d missed the day where new students could take a tour of the school. He didn’t know when it was, and by the time he bothered to look it up, he realized it was just the day before. He figured he’d be able to figure things out if he had his mom with him but-

  
_God there are so many people. I don’t know what to do. Okay. So many. Okay. Too many. So big. Too big. So many people. I’m stuck here. Trapped here. God- so many. So hot. The air is hot. Too hot. I can’t breath. Okay, okay, okayokayokay. It **burns** \- _

  
  
“Okay.”  _Oh God. It's happening._

  
  
**_Gasp._ **

  
  
“Okay.” _I can't stop shaking. Are people looking? Please don't. I need help. Please I can't- Not here- Not now-_

  
  
**_Choke._ **

  
  
“Okay.” _Bathroom. There must be a bathroom somewhere. Anywhere private._

 

  
**_Drown._ **

 

  
Virgil had to get out of here.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I'll add more to this. I just wanted to try actually posting the fics I write and see how it goes. Fun fact, this doesn't differ too much from my first day of 9th grade. Figured I'd let Virgil go through that too.


End file.
